The Spongilair (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
The Spongilair (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction) Synopsis = Mermaidman & Barnacleboy need to use Spongebob's house as their temporary lair to continue gathering data on Man-Ray's next biggest plan. Characters Spongebob Squarepants Mermaidman Barnacleboy Man Ray Gary The Snail Squidward Tentacles Eugene H. Krabs Patrick Star Killer Shrimps’ Henchmen Killer Shrimp Shady Shoals Residents The Dirty Bubble (mentioned) The Flying Dutchman (mentioned) The Story The story begins at Shady Shoals, the doors open and exiting is Mermaidman & Barnacleboy, in an extreme panic. BARNACLEBOY(about the Invisible Boatmobile): Where did we park it?! MERMAIDMAN: I thought I parked it in the Mermalair last night! BARNACLEBOY: You have got to stop sneaking out at night and getting pizza! MERMAIDMAN: I was not! I snuck out to watch the football game! BARNACLEBOY: Whatever! Suddenly, the two old heroes hear something and turn to see Man Ray evilly smiling and waving at them. He has and is in the Invisible Boatmobile. MAN RAY: Hahaha! Later you old fogies! Man Ray drives off. Barnacleboy grabs a rock and throws it and misses Man Ray. BARNACLEBOY: We gotta go after him! He's gonna ruin the city! MERMAIDMAN: Cities are important young ward. BARNACLEBOY: You don’t even know what city means you old coot. Mermaidman gets out his toolbelt. MERMAIDMAN: Relax! When I get out the Invisible Tracker, we will find the boatmobile and Man Dude in no time! BARNACLEBOY: Man Ray. Mermaidman looks but can’t find it. MERMAIDMAN: I could’ve sworn I put it in here somewhere. BARNACLEBOY: Mermaidman. MERMAIDMAN: Not now son, I’m looking! BARNACLEBOY: How can you find a tracker if it is invisible? MERMAIDMAN: Oh…. right. Barnacleboy facepalms. BARNACLEBOY: Invisible gadgets were always a stupid idea! MERMAIDMAN: Don’t fret Barnacleboy! We always got our TV! For football! That quarterback this season sure does stink though, although not as much as the wide receiver. BARNACLEBOY: Just can it about the stupid football! Let's look for the Boatmobile! MERMAIDMAN: Oh yeah the boatmobile, well we will need a place to also stake out for Man Ray. BARNACLEBOY: What about the Mermalair? MERMAIDMAN: I lost the keys again. BARNACLEBOY(in disapproval): Oy Vey. Well whatever, so where? Spongebob runs up excited as he usually is to visit Mermaidman & Barnacleboy. SPONGEBOB: Hey Mermaidman & Barnacleboy!! He pulls up Comic Issue # 156. SPONGEBOB: Can you sign my comic book?! Mermaidman & Barnacleboy smile at each other. The scene cuts to inside Spongebob's pineapple. Gary lets Spongebob, Mermaidman & Barnacleboy inside. SPONGEBOB: Thanks Gare-Bear! GARY: Meow Meow Gary slithers away to his litter box. MERMAIDMAN: Thanks for letting us use your pineapple for our temporary lair Spongekid! BARNACLEBOY: You sure can come in clutch. SPONGEBOB: No problem! You’re my heroes! What happened to the Mermalair though? BARNACLEBOY(glaring at Mermaidman): That is um for another day. Anyways, may you point me to your facility. SPONGEBOB: Facila what? BARNACLEBOY: The toilet. SPONGEBOB: Oh! Upstairs! Take a right, then a left, do five somersaults, two barrel rolls, a bunny hop and you’re there! BARNACLEBOY(perplexed): Thank you. He heads off to do that. Spongebob enters the Kitchen to find Mermaidman raiding his refrigerator. SPONGEBOB: Uh Mermaidman. Mermaidman puts some pieces of bologna and the milk and eggs away. MERMAIDMAN: Sorry, haven’t had my lunch yet. SPONGEBOB: No frets! How about I order something from The Krusty Krab? MERMAIDMAN: Triple Hero Krabby Patty with tons of pepper! BARNACLEBOY(from the toilet): I’ll just have a Kelp Soda. SPONGEBOB: Coming up! Spongebob dials some numbers. At The Krusty Krab, Squidward picks up. SQUIDWARD: May I take your order on this exceptionally lousy day. SPONGEBOB: HEY SQUIDWARD!!!!! ONE TRIPLE HERO KRABBY PATTY WITH TONS OF PEPPER, A KELP SODA AND A KELP NUGET CRUNCH!!!! GARY: Meow Meow SPONGEBOB: OH! AND A SNAIL SURPRISE AS WELL!! Squidward touches his ears beating up and down from the loud sound waves. SQUIDWARD: I’ll get your order as soon as you shut up! SPONGEBOB: NO PROBLEM SQUIDWARD!!!! Uh I mean (whispers), No Problem Squidward! Hehehheh! SQUIDWARD: Idiot. Spongebob hangs up. The door knocks. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy pop out in defensive mode. MERMAIDMAN: EVIL?!! SPONGEBOB: No, no! It's our food, it's ok! The heroes relax and Spongebob opens the door to find Mr.Krabs handing him the meals. MR.KRABS: Here you are me boy. SPONGEBOB: Thank you Mr.K! MR.KRABS: $12.00. Barnacleboy sighs and hands him his lucky pearl of riches. MR.KRABS: Nice doing business with you! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Mr.Krabs leaves. Spongebob closes the door. BARNACLEBOY: Cheapskate. A scene transition with the Mermarang happens. Spongebob, Gary, Mermaidman & Barnacleboy have finished their meals. MERMAIDMAN(burps): That was a nice meal! Now! Time for Soccer! BARNACLEBOY: Stake out! MERMAIDMAN(excitedly): Steaks?! SPONGEBOB: I love steaks! Patrick Star suddenly bursts through the wall. PATRICK: Did somebody say steaks?! Barnacleboy sighs. BARNACLEBOY(sarcastically): Yes! Fresh from Longhorn Steakhouse! PATRICK & MERMAIDMAN: Yay!!! BARNACLEBOY: Come on Mermaidman! We got a mission to attend to! PATRICK: A Mission! A Mission! SPONGEBOB: What Mission? MERMAIDMAN: Stopping the Atomic Flounder! BARNACLEBOY: No! Man Ray! MERMAIDMAN: Oh yeah, that guy. BARNACLEBOY(to Spongebob): Man Ray had stolen our Invisible Boatmobile and who knows what evil he could be planning to do with it. So, this explains why we need to use your house Spongebob! To stake him out. SPONGEBOB: Oh! I get it now! Cool! PATRICK: Will there be cookies after? The scene cuts to night time. Patrick is asleep on the couch, Gary is watching the Coconut show and laughs about it and Mermaidman & Barnacleboy are in Spongebob's bedroom using their invisible binoculars to look out for evil. MERMAIDMAN: So far, the coast is clear. Did you put your deodorant on Barnacleboy? Like I always say. BARNACLEBOY: You don’t even know what Deodorant means. Spongebob bursts in happily with a box of donuts. SPONGEBOB: I GOT THE DONUTS! MERMAIDMAN(excitedly): Donuts! BARNACLEBOY: Be quiet you two! A steak out means being quiet and being quiet means not alerting any evil entities! SPONGEBOB: Sorry! BARNACLEBOY: Whatever. Now, I think I got a head on Mermaidman. Mermaidman? MERMAIDMAN(face stuffed with donuts and a distorted voice): Pardon? BARNACLEBOY: Never mind. Barnacleboy then looks out the window and then notices a suspicious looking vehicle pull out across the street at the Kelp Hills. BARNACLEBOY: I might have activity! Barnacleboy observes through his binoculars while Spongebob & Mermaidman watch. Some henchmen including the evil Killer Shrimp exit what appears to be the Super Villain Mobile. KILLER SHRIMP: Okay boys! Are you sure we have the right dough?! HENCHMAN: I think the boss will be pleased! KILLER SHRIMP: Good! Then he can promote me to acting lieutenant! Get it! Acting! Cause the other one, is on um “business” right now! (He smiles evilly) HENCHMAN: Whatever. Man Ray then pulls up in the Invisible Boatmobile. MAN RAY: Hello my terribly evil accomplices! KILLER SHRIMP: Nice to see you too Man Ray! Hahahahah! MAN RAY(about the Dirty Bubble): It's a shame Dirty couldn’t be here tonight, the Bubble effect sure is a horrible illness, well, anyways, do you have the dough? KILLER SHRIMP: That we do! Henchmen! Trunk open! The henchmen do as their boss say. Man Ray comes and picks up a brown suitcase. BARNACLEBOY(observing): I wonder what could be in that suitcase. MERMAIDMAN: Donuts?! BARNACLEBOY: It better be from Dunkin. Man Ray opens the case and sees several dollar bills smuggled as contraband. MAN RAY: Hoorah! Look at all this loot! It's as if we found the Dutchman's treasure or something! Amazing! He caresses the money. MAN RAY: So purdy! KILLER SHRIMP: Just think of all the VCR's, Stereos and CD Players we can own! MAN RAY: Still in the 1990s dear? KILLER SHRIMP: I sure do love being a Hipster! MAN RAY: Well anyways, let us transport this contraband to the Bikini Bottom Coat Factory for proper transport to our cabin up in North Plankton, and on we go! KILLER SHRIMP: Ahahahhahahe! Mermaidman overhears Bikini Bottom Coat Factory. MERMAIDMAN(loudly): BIKINI BOTTOM COAT FACTORY?!! HOTDOG! THAT’S WHERE I GET MY PAJAMAS! BARNACLEBOY: MERMAIDMAN!! Man Ray and The Killer Shrimp notice the two old heroes and Spongebob staring at them in shock now that their cover has been blown. MAN RAY: MERMAIDMAN & BARNACLEBOY! What a pleasant surprise! I sure do love to test out my Doomsday Laser but I got business to attend to. Killer does not! KILLER?! The Killer Shrimp enthusiastically grabs the Doomsday Laser out of Man Ray's hand and points it and smiles with a terrifying evil grin at Barnacleboy. BARNACLEBOY: Mermaidman, if we live, remind me to take all of your meatloaf at lunch tomorrow and dump it right down your posterior. MERMAIDMAN: What's a posterior? Barnacleboy grabs Mermaidman and Spongebob and the two vamoose out the window. Gary does as well sensing danger. The Killer Shrimp blasts Spongebob's house into molten iron. KILLER SHRIMP: Hahahahahah! SPONGEBOB: PATRICK!!! Patrick bursts out of the rubble with his butt on fire from the hot lava liquids. PATRICK: MY POSTERIOR!!!! MERMAIDMAN: Oh! So that's what a posterior is! Gross Barnacleboy! BARNACLEBOY(shaking his fist): Grrrr! Spongebob soaks up some of the water and spits it into a ditch for Patrick to land safely in and put out the fire. Patrick walks out afterwards with a hole at his posterior revealing more than we need to see. PATRICK: Hi Spongebob! The Killer Shrimp and his henchmen prepare to attack. Spongebob, Patrick, Mermaidman & Barnacleboy get into defensive mode. Gary pulls out a chair, puts on sunglasses, eats popcorn and watches the show. BARNACLEBOY: Behold! The Raging Whirlpool! Barnacleboy sends a tornadic whirlpool into the henchmen spinning them around screaming and sending them down into several brigs trapping them forever. KILLER SHRIMP: I got a present for you starfish! PATRICK: Oh boy what is it?! Is it tic tacs?! KILLER SHRIMP: Flaming hot Tic Tacs! PATRICK: Yay! SPONGEBOB: No! Patrick! The Killer Shrimp blasts molten iron into Patrick's mouth. PATRICK(tearing up): It's finger lickin good! Patrick runs away to find water. MERMAIDMAN: You won’t get away with this Shrimp! KILLER SHRIMP: Too old and not too bold! You don’t scare me Grandpa Mermaidman! Barnacleboy thinks of something. BARNACLEBOY: Hey uh Mermaidman? You know the Bikini Bottom Football team right? MERMAIDMAN: Yeah! The Anglers! Fourteen Championships! You can’t beam em! BARNACLEBOY: Well the Killer Shrimp says otherwise. He says the team stinks! Reeks of Athlete's foot! Worse than The Dirty Bubbles’ B.O. Mermaidman gets a serious look on his face with a dropped jaw and turns to stare at the Killer Shrimp. KILLER SHRIMP: The Anglers do stink Mermaidman! Hahahahhaha!! Mermaidman begins trembling with rage as he usually would if his town's football team is insulted. Mermaidman unveils an array of Mermarangs and starts sending them the Shrimp's way. MERMAIDMAN: ANGLERS!!!!!! KILLER SHRIMP: Aaaaahhh, what the?! The Shrimp is sent in all kinds of directions, into several stop signs, a wrecking ball, a brick wall that says “BORDER” on it and finally into the jail. The doomsday ray has its trigger hit by one of the Mermarangs, a molten beam is fired right at Squidward's house. SQUIDWARD(holding a pocket mirror to his face while in the bathtub): Squidward Quincy Tentacles, you are one smoking! His bathroom is blasted into ash, molten lava, and kicked up dust with some walls still standing. SQUIDWARD(coughs): Hottie. Squidward and the mirror dissolve into piles of ash with Squidward's eyes blinking. Back at the ground level. BARNACLEBOY: Now that is a productive Mermaidman! SPONGEBOB(Giving a thumbs up): Good job! (Winks) MERMAIDMAN(confused): What’d I do? Man Ray gets into the Invisible Boatmobile terrified at seeing his companions failures. MAN RAY: Well, gotta go! SPONGEBOB: Not so fast Man Ray! Spongebob takes out his bubble soap and blows a bubble onto Man Ray bringing him up to the surface. MAN RAY: Nooooooo!!! The bubble hits the surface of the ocean water making him fall back down into Spongebob, who has transformed himself into a jail cell. MAN RAY: Pooie! The scene cuts to the next day. Spongebob is at Shady Shoals with his heroes eating meatloaf just like the other elders. SPONGEBOB: What a night gents! BARNACLEBOY: We are heroes, not gentlemen. SPONGEBOB: Right sorry. A montage of Spongebob's thoughts are shown. Patrick and Squidward are in the Hospital recovering from their molten adventures, The Henchmen play harmonicas down in the brig, Man Ray and The Killer Shrimp drop the soap in the Prison shower and both their eyes shrivel up and finally Gary watches the events of last night on Spongebob's TV under a DVD called “Jolly good show.” MERMAIDMAN: I got something Barnacleboy! BARNACLEBOY: Your Asprin pills? MERMAIDMAN: Nope! The Mermalair key! We can finally get back in! SPONGEBOB: Nice! BARNACLEBOY: Sweet! Where’d you find it? MERMAIDMAN: Out my Posterior! Mermaidman grabs his pants. MERMAIDMAN: Wanna see? Barnacleboy hastily finishes his meatloaf and skedaddles out the door. BARNACLEBOY(in a rush): I’ll pass on that! Category:SquidwardTentacles35